Trouble - how to treat them - The Psychology of Effective Life - online journal
A few years ago, I mastered a wonderful technique, how to look at the world, if something extremely unpleasant happened - they deceived, robbed, attacked aggressively, behaved inadequately, framed ...
Yes, in such a situation it is difficult to remember that "the world does not have to be comfortable." I would like to ask: “Why is he / she like this ?!” And the answer “people are different,” including stupid or dishonest, is not very comforting.
So, the promised technique.
1st stage. At this point, you must imagine that you are subject to the elements. For example, I “went out of the house without an umbrella, and it started to rain” or “left the car under a tree that had fallen down by a hurricane.” And immediately the insult is reduced - it is foolish to be offended by the rain or to make plans to take revenge on the hurricane. People are different. The world does not have to be comfortable. What happened to you is like the elements, and not malicious intent against you. The people who hurt you act unconsciously. Most likely, they are infantile and realize their unconscious scenario - there is no more reason in their actions than in the actions of the wind.
2nd stage. Think about how I can avoid this type of problem and protect myself in the future. For example, I will find out the weather forecast, think and clean the car in advance. I will get legal knowledge and I will draw up contracts correctly. Or I will get financial knowledge and plan what I will do in case of bankruptcy of counterparties, and I will do it in advance. I'll take a prepayment. Check all the information. I will not deal with people who have already behaved dishonestly in relation to others. I will not cooperate with amateurs. First, find out the reviews, and then I will enter into a contract and make an advance payment. I will not sign documents without reading. I will not blindly believe, and check. I will not regret or give in to other manipulations.
3rd stage. And what is my goal? And why should I?
4th stage. What will I do to get the desired result?
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From the Editor
Some people can’t stop worrying about an important event. It is still far from him, nothing is known in advance, but it is already scary. The most awful pictures appear compulsively in my head, and it is very difficult to drive away these thoughts. Psychologist Yaroslav Voznyuk offers a technique that helps reduce anxiety level in 5–7 minutes: http://psy.systems/post/kak-snizit-trevozhnost .
People tend to create dramas from scratch, thereby dodging the enjoyment of the present moment and not allowing it to simply be. Eckhart Tolle, the German-Canadian writer, in the book “The Power of the Present” offers this option of perception of reality: we will never be in the future, because tomorrow will be today. We will never be in yesterday, because it has already passed. We are only today, we live here and now, sometimes forgetting about the present moment and wasting energy and strength on the illusory “yesterday” and “tomorrow”. Read with us the main ideas from the book. http://psy.systems/post/sila-nastoyaschego
You may have had to get into difficult situations when it becomes impossible to act in the usual way and it seems that there is no way out. Psychologist Lyudmila Yushkevich is confident that a crisis is a reason for growth and the discovery of potentials that are dormant in us and are waiting in the wings. Her recommendations are in the article: https://psy.systems/post/krizis-povod-dlya-radosti-i-pomoschnik
I would like to ask: “Why is he / she like this ?
And what is my goal?
And why should I?
What will I do to get the desired result?